Have you ever thought to yourself, ‘Could I have made a difference, a big difference if I had just begun? If I had made a quality decision and stuck with it back in the day, where would I be now in my life?’
In the summer of 2013 a group of my sister Raias’ friends, and their friends, bared souls on one long hot summer night. We sat on the broken remnants of Second World War concrete beach defences. Glowing fire embers and a thin moon witnessed spoken ambition and dreams. We weren’t about to graduate. Most were in their first or second year at the waterfront city university, and their game was life. I don’t know quite why I was there, maybe Mum and Dad were off at a festival somewhere.
Lives changed that night. They were talking about what they wanted, really wanted. I thought that weird as I had assumed they wanted what they had. Good friends, independence, a chance, an opportunity, education. At first, I stayed quiet; mostly I listened. Craig, with the smiling eyes, wanted to be a doctor, a medical doctor, but he was in the School of Art studying form and motion. Someone asked him why he wasn’t studying medicine.
‘I needed to have decided ten years ago,’ he gloomed ‘… before I quit making an effort, now I’ll be a second-rate artist, my heart isn’t in it. I’ll probably end up in advertising.
I can remember thinking, he’s only 19 and he’s written himself off already, why? At nearly sixteen I was younger than the rest. But I couldn’t help it.
‘What if you started now?’
‘What do you mean started now? I’ve invested time and money into this art course, why burn my bridges?’
A part of me wanted just to say, ‘Why not?’ Instead, it was along the lines of,
‘Why not do something every day that takes you more in the direction that you want to go…I mean I guess a good surgeon needs to ‘see’ the human form, why not begin there with an art degree specialising in medical drawing…. maybe one day you’ll be giving the anatomy lessons in surgical training…’ I was excited for him; I could see his potential outcome. He had the grace to humour me, with a self-deprecating laugh,
’I told you, I quit making an effort. That sounds like work, hard work! ‘
‘You could give it an hour a day,’ I threw back. ‘What’s one hour of work in 24? That’s not hard. Do it first, just keep it going every day, by the time you’re thirty you could have nearly 4000 hours of anatomical drawing in the bank. That has to be worth something.’
I turned to Sally, Sally who wanted to be a writer and was taking a degree in psychology. ‘So, do you write?’ I asked, ‘Outside of your course requirements?’
‘Well sometimes. I joined a writing group, and I’ve written a few pieces when I have the time.’
‘Well, why don’t you give it an hour a day as well? In fact, why don’t we all?’ I opened my hands and looked around the group… ‘Everyone who really wants something, just commit an hour a day to it…. that’s it. One hour every day…….’
‘Paige!’ I could hear the frustration in Raia ‘s voice ‘Would you just stop, let them be!’
‘What, ordinary? Is that what you all want? To be ordinary? Look, I want for you all to look back in 2023 and say, ‘Do you know what … I could have picked that, ordinary, but I didn’t. I chose to everyday spend an hour taking action that moved me closer to my dreams and look where I am now!’ I’ll meet you here on this beach every one of you that tries it…let us be our own life experiment!’
There was a low collective groan, although I noticed a few thoughtful faces.
‘So Jade,’ I called out to a girl I had met earlier in the evening. ‘How about you, what’s the big dream for you, the big idea?
‘Me, I’m actually okay with ordinary. I’m going to get my degree, become a social worker, probably live in an apartment, take a nice holiday every year and be happy with my lot. I’m not interested in personal success or stacking the cash.’
‘What are you interested in?’
‘What do you mean, I’ve told you …’
‘No, no you haven’t, you’ve told us your career plan and what you’re not interested in.’
‘Well, I don’t know to be honest … I settle easy…’
‘But what if you didn’t? What if there is something in this world that stirs your passion, what if you haven’t found it yet? What if you spend an hour every day trying something new at least to the point of being competent at it? What if it turns out you are fascinated by Frogs, or baking or, or… paragliding!’
‘Paragliding! You have to be kidding, that’s not for people like me!
‘People like you?’
‘Ordinary people Paige, people like me. People who just chug along.’
‘Ordinary is just settling for easy, Jade, an easy life instead of an inspired life.
Give it a go. … at least for the first year.’
She shook her head at me.
‘Look guys I’m just saying. If you are in, you start today, you don’t have to make a song and dance about it just check in every August 31st join the group chat, and we’ll meet up in 2023’.
There were about a dozen of us in that tribe on the beach in 2013. I was fascinated to see what would happen, who would stay, who would go. That’s when it all kicked off for me. I began having this type of conversation with people every day, the excuses I’ve heard and achievements I’ve witnessed! The miracles of persistent action over time.
Each day another few people joined the group. That first year, by 31st August 2014 we were just shy of 1800. Many of us partied at that same beach, others video linked in, and we bore witness to each other. We listened; we acknowledged change. Over the years we have grown exponentially in scale and reach, we are millions. Jade didn’t join us, she is still chugging along, maybe she needed ordinary this time around.
Craig did, he had a slow start, it took him a few weeks to get into it. Once he started to notice the difference that even a week of everyday persistence made to him he was hooked. He completed his arts degree whilst spending the first hour of his day, drawing the human form. He joined the design team of a medical apparatus company and completed an in-service Technical MSc, then broke away into sculpting. Now, he has his own company whose aim is to mobilise the immobile. From chips in hips to lifelike wearable and highly functional prosthetics. His understanding of the human form combined with his engineering and creativity have raised the bar in his field. Last week he was made an honorary member of the British Medical Society for his services to medicine. Craig is thirty soon.
Sally began writing every day, she has several best sellers under her belt, she kept studying as well and incorporates the effects of narratives in her lectures at Cambridge, her teaching hinges on the concept that we experience life in accordance with the stories we tell our selves about what the events and circumstances of our life mean. We can change our lives when we tell ourselves a different story about it when we allow ourselves to imagine, to dream and move towards what we want in our life, persistently.
We are all writers in the stories of our lives, and musicians, social workers and cake bakers, mechanics, and orators, we are everything, and we are all more than, better than we were. We are living our dream – for at least an hour a day and it pays. That’s what changed for me ten years ago. I realised I wanted to make a difference and so, I began to move in the direction I wanted to go in, we all can.
Face the right direction for you, take a step, and keep on going. We are many, and we are as one.